Campaign Reform? Let me get you started...

There has been a lot of talk about campaign reform in recent years. OK, maybe not so much people talking about campaign reform, but people keep saying campaign reform, a lot. The problem is, like with everything else, no one is actually throwing out any ideas as to what campaign reform should look like. So let me be the first; here is what I think should happen for future campaigns:

Super-pacs

They gotta go. I’m sorry, the Supreme Court may have said that they are fine, thee only thing these groups do is spread ignorance and bullshit. Way too much money is wasted creating attack ads, most of which are complete fabrications or such exaggerations the only truth that can be found is the candidate’s names. This wouldn’t be so much of an issue if the people wanted to do their own research on the candidates to determine what is true and what is not, but they don’t. Let’s face it, most of us are just too busy or too lazy to be bothered. And those of us who do research on our own, eventually get sick of looking up something new every day, it gets old, it really does.

Campaign Ads

You get one!

Each candidate gets one 60 second ad. So think very carefully what it is you want to say to the people. There are no do-overs! I’m sick of seeing new ads every week telling more BS about Romney or Obama. These ads, of course, being 99% Bull Shit!

Each ad gets equal airtime.

Fox News, MSNBC, CNN, PBS and everybody else; you will air each candidate’s ad equally. No one news organization will air any ad more than the other. If one ad is run 5 times, so will every other candidates ad. 

You don’t get to talk about your opponent.

Guess what, we all know you think the other guy sucks! We don’t need to be told again and again how your opponent is single handedly going to give America to the Chinese or the Russians or sell our children into slavery. I don’t need to hear that Romney hates the gays and Obama hates women. Seriously, tell me about you, that’s it, you. This is a job interview. If I went to interview for a job and all I did was tell the interviewer how much the other guys sucked and how they would destroy the company, they would laugh in my face and tell me to get the hell out! Why? Employers take their interview process seriously. The interview process for the most important job in the United States should be taken just as seriously. Tell me what you are going to do, or get the hell of the stage!

Interviews

News organizations, when it comes to elections, the American people do get to tell you what to ask. You may not like this, but for all intents and purposes, are the interviewer, you are the ones who are asking the interview questions for the highest office in the nation and your questions suck! You have a responsibility to the American people to ask the right questions so that we have the information we need in order to hire the right person for the job.

Personal Questions

Yes, I know the people are enthralled with shows such as Jersey Shore and The Desperate Housewives of Who Gives a Shit, but unless it is compromising National security or preventing him/her from doing their job, no one needs to know who is getting Oval Office Head! Seriously, aren’t there more important things going on? Now if he/she was getting Oval Office Head from an underage girl/boy or a North Korean spy then that is something we need to know.  Otherwise, let’s focus on the job requirements.

Fairness

You will ask the candidates the same questions and you will make sure that they answer the question.  If you ask them, “How you will fix the economy?” and they answer with, “By creating jobs.” it is your responsibility to get their plan! That’s right, we know the answer to our problems is to get people back to work, what we don’t know is how the candidate plans on doing this. Stating the obvious and then telling us the other guy sucks, THAT’S NOT A PLAN!!! We deserve better. Once again, if I tried that in a job interview, I would be laughed out of the office.

Your Opinion

We don’t need it. Your job is to ask the questions and make sure that they give us a legitimate answer. We will make a decision as to whether or not we want to hire them based off of the information given.  We don’t need to hear how Michelle Obama’s shoes say that she supports sweat shops in Ohio or that Anne Romney’s sweater choice means that she will offend the Emperor of Fahionista-stan with her White House decorating choices. None of this is relevant and if you did your job correctly, we wouldn’t need your opinion anyway. 

Debates

The debate is a job interview and should be treated as such. Don’t come to the debate planning to attack the opponent. This is your chance to tell us why you are the better candidate, what you are going to do to help the country, and why we should hire you. We already know how you feel about the other guy; we don’t need to hear it.

The candidates will be asked only pertinent questions, all candidates from any recognized party will be able to participate and given equal time. Too many people are not adequately represented by the two major parties and we shouldn’t feel like our vote doesn’t count if we don’t choose between the lesser of two evils.

Conventions

These need to go too. Or at least be shortened down to one day. This is one of the most disgusting displays of excess that I’ve ever seen.  You don’t need a week to tell your fan base, oops, I mean voters, how much the other guy sucks and to beg for more money because you’ve just spent all of the money you had on this event. We know who you are, we know what party you belong to and we know how much you hate the other guy.  You don’t get to take up two weeks of television time on every single station to tell us this again!

Summary

Candidates:

This is a job interview for the highest office in the United States; it is not an episode of who wants to be the next American President! We want to hear what your goals are and how, exactly, and how you plan on obtaining them. Your job is not to convince us that the other guy sucks; your job is to convince us that YOU don’t. 

Media:

Treat this process like a job interview; stop catering to your sponsors! Ask the right questions and demand an answer. We the people don’t get to ask the questions, it is your job to represent us. Do your damn job and get us the information we need. Restore some sense of dignity to your profession.

Chik-Fil-A-holes?

                Over the past several months many companies have decided to take a stance on same sex marriage. This has not come without consequences.  In January, when Starbucks announced its support of same sex marriages the group NOM (National Organization for Marriage) organized a “Dump Starbucks” campaign. The group One Million Moms encouraged a boycott of JC Penny after they aired an ad on Father’s Day featuring a same sex couple. This boycott was only a few months after the same group tried to have Ellen DeGeneres removed as the official spokesperson for JC Penny because she was a lesbian. Most recently, Oreo Cookie came out in support of same sex marriage. This led to backlash and many people boycotting the company. However, none of these boycotts earned the same type of national attention as Chik-Fil-A has.

The State of the Union

That's the American thought process!

                My fellow Americans, we are trillions of dollars in debt. We are actively involved in two wars that have been going on for more than 10 years now as well as participating in military actions around the world. Our military is stretched so thin it can barely do its job. We are still recovering from the collapse of the housing bubble brought on by what can only be considered at best shoddy and at worst illegal business practices of banks and Wall Street businessmen.  The cost of medical care is through the roof, this is one of the only industrialized countries left in which one can go bankrupt because they got cancer. Currently we out of 34 countries surveyed students in the United States placed 14^th in reading, 17th in science and 25^th in math. Not only are we falling behind the rest of the world in education we are encouraging this and we seem to be proud of it. But how many of these issues are actually being addressed by our leaders? How many of us are actually concerned with them? Not too many. Instead of focusing on these things we have been led astray by our government and our political parties. We have been bombarded with propaganda from the media sellouts that, instead of seeking out the truth, cater to advertisers and politicians. And we are now more divided than we have been since the Civil War. So, do you know what happened last time this country was this angry and divided? I hope so, the last sentence should have been a big clue!

That is what passes for an American icon now.

                So what is it that we are so interested in these days?  If you get passed The Jersey shore and MTV’s 16 and Knocked up Again (or whatever that stupid show is called) we find a few issues that people are concerned with, and here they are: Obama’s birth certificate, getting the dems/rep out of office, welfare abusers and illegal immigration. So, these are the things that our country is most concerned with when we are in such peril. But these are issues that we should be paying attention to right? Well sure, that’s what corporate America wants you to think. As long as you are busy being angry about trivial matters, they can do whatever they want and get you the people to support them under the guise of capitalism and if they can’t get your support, they at least have you distracted with something else. So let me address some of these concerns.